Is the price of being yourself one you’re willing to pay? We often believe it is, holding steadfast in our conviction to transform into the best, most authentic versions of ourselves while simultaneously saying “screw them, this is my life” to those who would oppose. In a perfect world, we would all have the freedom to ignore the outside noise, but this isn’t a perfect world. It’s human nature to absorb the opinions of others when going through life, often using them as guideposts that alert us if we’re about to fall off a cliff. But maybe some of us intended to take a leap, and these opinions actually serve as barbed wire, fencing us in and limiting growth.

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Julia understands this feeling all too well, having grown up Catholic and born into a multicultural household; her mother is Mexican and her father is a white American from Texas. Julia often found it difficult to adhere to the strict teachings of the catholic church while also living up to the expectations that were placed on her.

Susan Eltell: How did being raised Catholic impact you growing up?


Julia Moore: It wasn’t always easy. Growing up, I was always asking questions. I remember sitting in church and asking, “Why are there no women priests?” I always had an inquisitive mind, yet could never connect with the religion no matter how many questions I asked.


SE: In what ways did you not connect?


JM: I didn’t like the expectations placed on women in the church. We were expected to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, and behave a certain way. I felt a lot of pressure to adhere to the standards of a large Catholic family. I have 4 older sisters; the oldest two aligned more with Catholic traditions, but the rest of us were more disconnected from their teachings. Being the youngest, I was always kept in the dark about family problems and overall details, so I naturally became very independent. I had to start thinking for myself and making my own choices, and eventually, that meant leaving the church when I turned fifteen, which I feel very at peace with.

It’s never easy letting go of something you’ve known your whole life, especially with it being so tightly intertwined with personal relationships such as family members and a community you grew up around. It almost forces you to question whether the worlds we are born into are those we’re meant to stay in and if going beyond them defies all laws of normality. When she was starting her first year at college, Julia was approached by a modeling agency, something she was hesitant to share with her family due to their perceptions of it. It’s common for us to still consider the reactions of others when embarking on different paths in life, even if their reactions don’t directly impact your decision to move forward or not.

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SE: Were you expecting a negative reaction?


JM: Yes, because they had already cut people off for not adhering to their standards, so I knew what was at stake for me. I hid many parts of the job from my family, only sharing what I wanted them to know. For example, modeling in a swimsuit wouldn’t have gone over well. The expectations of the culture and church I was raised in were all about modesty and the proper ways for women to dress and act, and modeling was not within that realm. I didn’t let that stop me, though; I pursued modeling and took the opportunity head-on. For me, it was a way to break out of my sheltered environment and explore new opportunities. I also saw it as a way to be an advocate for curvy girls in the industry, making sure my work allowed them to see themselves on display and be proud of the representation.

The piper always comes around to collect his debt. Julia takes great pride in her modeling, but she knows that living authentically comes at a cost. These repercussions often slip into our consciousness discreetly, planting seeds of doubt and guilt for choosing a path that is right for us, stirring up an internal storm where shame and doubt reside. But under the swarming weight of criticism, there was a blinding light that tore through the shadows: the ability to impact. Every single one of us has had the desire to leave a mark on the world, a badge of honor that screams “I was here!”. In Julia’s case, that mark was her ability to advocate for curvy bodies. The desire to show women with her shape that they can be beautiful and proud of themselves was strong enough to withstand the disapproval of those around her. And while she’s stood tall in the face of harsh winds, the things that take us down are not always visible.

SE: Do you still feel the lingering effects of the teachings shared within the church even though you no longer practice the religion?


JM: Growing up in the church, I constantly heard messages of modesty and expectations for young girls, and as a curvier person, it was hard for me to accept my body and feel confident. There was a lot of religious and emotional manipulation that I had to unlearn and overcome, but I refused to let it stop me from pursuing this passion and being an advocate for those like me. Modeling is something I’m proud of, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle with the stigmas surrounding it. People often think I am full of myself and seek to profit off of my body, and I get anxious thinking this mindset will transfer into the professional setting when applying for jobs. The inner part of me that asks, “Is this appropriate for the workplace?” or “Can I have a career in HR with this on my resume?” still speaks to me sometimes. I don’t let those assumptions hold me back from doing it, but they leave me filled with anxiety about how it will be perceived.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, everyone carrying a unique gaze that they set upon the world. Where one sees freedom and expression, another sees rebellion and distastefulness. This way of thinking is common in many cultures and communities, limiting the growth and expression of others in the name of preserving some type of image, and once you go against that image, you’re seen as a weight tipping the balanced scale of conformity. We cannot control the ways in which others will view our choices and lifestyles, as hard as we try to. You’re always going to have doubts in the back of your head telling you the path you’ve chosen is a lonely one, but once you push past them, you’ll free yourself of the societal ties that bind and begin your journey to self-acceptance and love. Am I making it sound easier than it is? Possibly. The truth is one cannot for sure say whether a journey will work out, but is that any reason not to take the risk?

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SE: What final message would you like to share with our readers?


JM: Fight for yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but once you start fighting for yourself, you’ll begin the process of taking control of your life. There are many things that could have broken me on my path to pursue modeling and breaking away from the expectations of those around me, but I pushed on and was able to see the benefit of not taking the easy route. I became an advocate for curvy women through my modeling. I gained emotional awareness and was able to accept the situations in life that led me to this moment without allowing them to define me. So that’s my message: fight for yourself and for what you believe is right.